Trying to find something that makes sense but honestly none of these line up.
1. Know my value? Check✔️
2. Self esteem? Check✔️
3. Jeep independence? Check✔️
4. Trust Myself? Check✔️
None of these things have ever been a struggle.
Maybe there’s other reasons for insecurity?
One aspect that emerges from the rather limited exposure I’ve had is the notion of deceit. The instinctive behavior to readily lie so naturally by one partner and to avoid simple transparency can wreck havoc with a false sense of security.
Seem to loop this one more and more as of late
The way she quivers
her throaty moan
How she leaps at my touch
Makes me groan
I write with a sense of freedom, an uninhibited flow-state, a river of ideas the eddies and current are my emotions… the facts surrounding events the floating debris.
I write to remember, to bookmark a thought… a memory… an inspiration… often a concern when troubled.
I write to release… to inspire myself… to remind myself I am loved…
… minimally by myself.
I write with love of self first. And this is a relatively new feeling. A new discovery of a person who has been a stranger in the mirror. My “self”, hidden for years in a relationship out of necessity. But won’t hide under the cover of comfort anymore.
Relationship or not.
For who knows what even that is.
I write for myself and no one else’s eyes.
I write and publish because I can, and to surprise… a future Me.
A “me” I have yet to meet.
And with forlorn reflection, I look forward to the self that will be different, when He sees these very same words with a future “Him”. The yet undetermined guy that will differ by life’s experiences, the bridge to carry His feet, between now and then…
In general, people in a relationship care about what another has experienced or is feeling only to the extent of how it impacts themselves.
This is more an observation than a judgment.
Badass essential oil wax warmer 🙂
Scallops n bacon off a backpacking stove. Best kind of dinner 🙂
Am of the mindset, transparency in so many things – thought or deed – is an ideal people aspire for from others. The scrutiny of which however, is a scourge when required of them.
It’s an odd feeling… actually reassuring at same time, when amidst a troubled heart to simply read the following. And feel better for the few moments to reflect ☺️
This is the weird storm was telling you about. Nonstop thunder for an hour as the storm broke overhead and spilled atop Lake Huron. A 3 minute link I recorded
They don’t write em like that anymore, nostalgic vibes 🙂
Ahhh to climb atop those great white pines in the backyard. Be amidst the yellow blazen finches, woodpeckers and see an eagle’s territory up high …
Love will come to you…
One of the best discussions. Rogan and Dr Attia nail it in some cool topics. Longevity and research plus the sports banter is wicked
Love should never involve what one has over who one is 🙂
An epic existentialist dance with morality. Not for your typical GIF sniffer. Sam Harris has some of the best interviews
No words. Sigh. Right when I need em
Beautiful when it blooms for someone who chances upon its scent 🙂
I learned to read,
At first to explore.
To go wherever the words from books blew the sails of my mind
Then I learned to read of another sort.
Because the words which blew through the lips of people I trusted filled no sails of my imagination
But were hollow, hurtful things.
And much due to my allowing.
I learned to watch their actions,
Carefully over time.
And read their intent through the decisions they made.
Of whom they chose to be with,
What they did,
And how they did it.
Because what I was told was disconnected from what actually happened.
I was illiterate in such matters.
Then i learned to read yet another sort.
Now I fill the sails of my destination
With the wind from my own lungs.
Gales driven with thoughts which inspire me,
Of whom I am the sole author.
A captain always has faith in his own ship.
I win the battle with who I faced in the mirror yesterday
So much we don’t know, yet peel away a layer here and there everyday. So cool!
A goodie 🙂
Jan 20… noteworthy timeframe
My fav (below) from mooji article.
Note to self : I obviously have more work to do!
Once you strip ego, nothing clings. Purity is easily recognized as the choice
The art of knowing
is knowing what to ignore
Good tune to start the week, regardless what will be thrown at me
A lot of merit to this
Dec 31st… Loyal as fuck
Doesn’t ask for much 🙂
Dec 29th… Best produce, soup and butcher – Nino Salvaggios
But best Deli hands down – V&J’s ! Treat time for the kids and grandgems 🙂
Dec 29th… Transition
Dec 28th… Like …. Love… often confused
Dec 27… Wow what a song!
Dec 22… A fantastic musical! Of pondering inspiration and dreams
Dec 20… Trying to get my head wrapped around what this woman endured
Dec 16… A lot of truth to this, when you use the proper perspective with those who are in your life Dec 15… Best copilot in the universe! Unmatched reliability and loyalty 👍🏼
Dec 14… A simple truth 🙂Dec 14… keep me humble, what Fun it is…
Dec 12… Was curious what he’d follow up with after Say You Won’t Go. Another goodie 🙂
Dec 8… Keep looping this song today
Dec 8…Dec 3…Nov 28 Good song kicked back stargazing to…
Nov 28… Such bs, kinda scary to think to trust eyewear
Nov 23… Oh St Lucia, why do you tease me so? Largest sea turtles in world found on its beaches and beauty of its corals unsurpassed!
Nov 20… Parrotfish & Triggerfish of the Caymans. Beauty awaits the curious mind willing to take the plunge. Can’t wait! 🙂
Nov 16… Maroboli lol always gets right to it
Nov 15… Interesting site, live dialogue in an ATC airspace. Good way to learn communication when piloting
Live Air Traffic ControlNov 11.. Great tune!
Nov 6…A share from a very close friend, someone who has always been there for me, though elusive at times. Inspiring moment from Sedona atop the airport mountain …
Nov 2… Sojourn starts
Indescribable night of clean air and full moon
Nov 1st… ATC, Diamond Two Six Seven Delta Charlie, 4 miles to northwest inbound entering downwind leg from the left, runway one three …
Or, Floating leaf stalls, keeping wings level with rudder…
Or, Power off stalls …
It all builds towards that solo event
Nov 1st… Haunting tune, am dign the melody
Oct 31… Nothing cures a heavy heart so much as a hug from the grand-gifts 🙂
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ef=”http://www.melloliving.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/img_6752.jpg”>I am Matt MelloI consider myself an existentialist. I hold a natural curiosity of all that is. Discovering and Creating excite me!
Have had a lifelong pursuit of wishing to know at most fundamental level, the basis for how we experience our existence. Ends up being a very important pursuit at this stage of my life, for numerous reasons. I delve into moments with my iPhone to capture them through images, audio / video recordings, or with with my mind to notepad when in a creative flow.
Oh, and welcome to my site. I am here creating this space as a place to park ideas, collaborate and share my inspiration. Also a revulsion of sorts to canned and static social media applications which distort true sharing of ideas and content amidst commercialized bombardment of ads. Plus the restrictions and censorship replete on social media sites which is capriciously expressed and enforced through their “Terms of Service”. Many of these popular social media sites have become gimmicky.
So I’ve had my rant! Feel free to pick through my collection of my Mello Musings … when I’m inspired, I post it to this evolving website, under one of the content categories. If you wish to have an authorized account, contact me. With an account you can participate by sharing your own content and with blog posts.
A quick note that this site is evolving, I guess as we all do. When you visit it in the future, it will assuredly be different.
That much is a constant.:)